Contesting - "The Looney Bin"

Let's Play "Looney Bin"!
 
Have you heard about the latest game?  It's called "Looney Bin".  You could call it "Multiple Insanity", "Super Stupidity", or whatever you want, but here is how it is played:

All the players - and there is a great many of them - gather in a large confined area, which is also occupied by people who are NOT playing "Looney Bin". 
Each player arms himself with a club, the size of which is limited by regulations of the game to one kilogram (that's 2.2 lbs.). 
Some players use a hinged club, the effect of which is to transmit additional energy, so that their clubs are the equivalent of 2 kilograms - sometimes called "2KG peak effective power."
The game has an announced starting time, at which time the players - and there are a great many of them, as we said - proceed to attract the attention of other players by hitting them over the head with their clubs.

As the area where the game is played is usually crowded, a great many who are NOT players get hit over the head with one kilogram, which they do not like at all.
The objective of the game is to see how many players can be hit over the head with one's one kilogram club. 
Each player must keep a record, called a log (not to be confused with the club, which is a small log of another type). 
The best players can hit other players over the head with their club while keeping their log with the other hand. 
Upon being hit over the head, a player announces (a) how sharp the blow was, rated on a 1 to 5 scale; and (b) the pressure of the blow, rated on a 1 to 9 scale. 
Thus, upon being struck, the player shouts "5-9", and proceeds to exchange blows with the player who has just bounced his club off the first player's head.
Obviously, it takes a pretty hard head to play this game, but after partaking in a number of such contests, one's head becomes almost impervious to the blows. 
Many players drop their participation in such events, of course, since they see no point to either being hit on the head, or exercising violence upon others.
Some parts of the playing area are more accessible than others, and the real challenge to a player is to hit the more remotely located players. 
When everybody ties to do this, what is known as a "pile-up" occurs, with dozens of players being hit over the head at once, and hardly anyone ever hitting the head of the player at which he had taken aim. 
Such "pile-ups" are very frustrating, and many players have abandoned the game because of them. 
The winner of the game is the player who has swung his club most effectively, hitting more players on the head than anyone else, and in more areas of the playing space. 
Indeed, it is considered a great achievement to have hit people on the head in every square foot of the playing area!

A ticklish situation has developed as a result of so many games of "Looney Bin" being played in the playing area. 
Indeed, some group or other is sponsoring a game almost every weekend.  The people who don't like to play "Looney Bin" actually outnumber by far those who are avid "Loonie's." 
But, when the non-players object to filling up the large confined area, of which we spoke, with club wielding "loonies", the objectors are called - of all things - "soreheads". 
If their heads are sore, it is pretty obvious what made them so.

The game is played rougher in some parts of he country than in others.
Cheating consists primarily of using a heavier club than the 1 kilogram rules allow. 
In California, it is said, clubs weighing several kilograms -as much as 18 kilograms having been reported - are sometimes used, and the hit other players' heads very, very hard. 
They hit non-players just as hard, and some non-players would like to abolish "Looney Bin" once and for all.  How about you?

W8AP

(The above was sent in by K3WS and is taken from "Auto- Call"
(Washington, D.C.) April 1971.  He writes, "There is a lesson here, but I'm not sure what it is!  By the way, W8AP is not anti-contest and is frequently in there with the rest of us.")