DXpedition Satire

Subject: [The Daily DX] Bouvet Is 3Y0IOF Dxpedition Press Release!

The following satire announcement is being sent around via the various
reflectors. Just want to make sure everyone is aware of the exact text
in case someone hears any rumors of an upcoming DXpedition to Bouvet
Island. Again this is satire only. It will not be listed on The Daily
DX calendar!
73
Bernie, W3UR

3 December 2012

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

After a lot of negotiation we are pleased to announce a multinational
team of twelve is to undertake a Dxpedition to Bouvet Island from 25
March 2013 to 5 April 2013 using the callsign 3Y0IOF.

We will be operating 24/7 with five stations covering all bands
160m-10m.

We understand that Dxpeditions are all about you the DX operator
therefore we are pleased to announce some exciting new innovations.

We appreciate many of you feel you should not have to make any effort to
work us. Accordingly we are offering you the chance to call us on the
telephone when you are ready for a QSO. That's right we will give you a
phone number and when you are ready you can ring us and we will
immediately cease to work the pile up and call you on a frequency of
your choice. Not only that we will also ensure an email is sent to you
directly after the QSO to confirm you are in the log. Furthermore we
are organising a team of experts who, if you wish, will fly in and set
up your rig on the required frequency, connect the antenna for you and
make sure the heating or ventilation is on so it is nice and warm or
cool in your shack as the case requires. Don't worry about propagation.
We will make sure there is some between us as we understand that is our
responsibility and it's our fault if there isn't.

If that is not for you then don't worry we are just as happy to work you
in a pile up. We realise that we will need to operate in accordance
with your operating habits so therefore we will understand if you call
over the top of another station we are trying to work, or when we are
specifically calling a part of the world you do not reside in, or if you
are simply calling aimlessly or while we are transmitting, or even if
you call when you cannot hear us. We will do our best to work you
despite all this and yes we know it's our fault if you do not make it
into the log.

We wish to acknowledge the value Frequency Cops bring to a Dxpedition so
to recognise this we are going to specifically publicise some times when
we will arrange for some operators to deliberately call us on our
frequency instead of split. Frequency Cops can even register their
availability with us to help us ensure these periods get maximum uptake
by the Frequency Cop community. During these periods the Frequency Cops
will be able to say or send "up up!" to their hearts content. (Note: we
will make sure we tell the pile up to listen up and not down as the
recent PT0S Dxpedition has taught us that Frequency Cops don't know how
to send "down" in CW).

We also don't want the "tuner uppers" to feel left out and like them we
feel dummy loads are completely overrated. So when we are ready to
transmit on a band we will give them the opportunity to tune up on our
frequency before we start working the pile up. Each period will start
with us sending our callsign and "QDL" ("Quick Dummy Loaders") so they
will know when to commence tuning up on us. We will allow for at least
five minutes for this as we know how important it is for the tuner
uppers to make sure their finals are good and ready. We acknowledge if
they go bang it's our fault. Depending on demand we will every now and
then send "QDL" while working a pile up so any tuner uppers late to the
party can tune up on us as well.

Unfortunately we will not have cluster access while we are on Bouvet but
we know this will not stop you posting announcements and comments on the
cluster about our Dxpedition. Some suggestions for you to try include
saying what band you want us to QSY to or mode to operate on, the
quality of our ops and the usual "loud", "can't hear them here", "thanks
for 7th band" or "yee hah" comments. Likewise as we noted above we
understand it's our fault if you cannot work us and therefore we accept
in that case you will post on the cluster calling us the worst
Dxpedition ever.

We can't wait to be of service to you.

The 3Y0IOF Team

RELEASE ENDS